I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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