She announced her abortion via fbk
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
