she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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