I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
