Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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