Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
