Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
