Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
