I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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