You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i would punch a child for taco bell
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
