I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
