I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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