Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i barfeds in our rink
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
40s are totally the cure
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
