dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
