Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
