if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you traded sex for a burrito?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
