If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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