Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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