thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize