i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
