Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
