therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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