Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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