Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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