I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
my shit smells like andre
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
