is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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