Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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