I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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