her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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