You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
