ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
