Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
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I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
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Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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