we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
