I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
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I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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