She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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