Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
