We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
