On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
