I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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