he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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