somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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