in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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