I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
