There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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