He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
