just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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