Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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