it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
