I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize