whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
