i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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