I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
