i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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