On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
it was like having sex with a tree stump
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
