Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize