Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
