Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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