I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
