How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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