Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
