he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
