I wish I could punch you in the face.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Be still, my beating vagina.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
