There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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