I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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