are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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