It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
