i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
