Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
