Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
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We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
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I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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