textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize