I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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